


Put My Mind To Rest

by starlightthroughbrokenglass



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 07:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightthroughbrokenglass/pseuds/starlightthroughbrokenglass
Summary: Cas and Dean have been roommates for half a year. Every weekend, when Dean goes out with his friends, he asks Cas to come along. He always refused - until tonight. But now Cas is left alone at the table while Dean and his friends are playing pool and having fun. He just wants to go home.Or: Cas has social anxiety and Dean tries to help.





	Put My Mind To Rest

**Author's Note:**

> So, I finally got around to post this fic on here as well.  
> I have some more ideas for this verse, so there might be some chapters added to this if I ever get around to write them.  
> I hope you enjoy this little story, kudos and comments are always welcome :)

Castiel was sitting at a table, starring at the beer bottle in front of him, from which he hadn’t even taken a sip. He didn’t drink alcohol. He didn’t even usually go out to bars. But here he was. Sitting alone at a table in a loud and crowded bar, while Dean and his friends were over at the pool table, laughing and shoving each other, having fun.

Dean was the reason Cas was here in the first place. Dean Winchester was his roommate for half a year now and he went to the Roadhouse with his friends almost every weekend. Cas usually stayed in their room, doing his homework or reading. Dean had never stopped asking him to come, though. No matter, how often Cas had told him he was fine with staying in, every week Dean asked him anew.

It didn’t bother Cas as much as he would’ve thought. Dean never pressed him into coming. He just asked him if he would like to join them and when Cas said no, he just wished him a good evening and left with a parting smile. And every time he saw that smile, Cas’s stomach lurched, and he wished he would’ve had said yes. But he never did. Until today.

Dean had seemed surprised earlier, when Cas had said yes. But the surprised look had soon made room for a blinding smile. One that made Cas very happy he had agreed to come. He would’ve done a lot to see that smile directed at him.

“BOOM, Bitches!” The shout that was sounding through the bar made Cas flinch. Apparently, Charlie, Dean’s redheaded friend, who had enveloped Cas in a hug upon meeting him, was winning. He saw Dean affectionately shoving her before lining up his own shot.

Cas grimaced. He really didn’t like bars. They were too loud and too crowded for his liking. He liked quiet places. Somewhere, where he could hear himself think.

Cas pulled out his headphones. He knew it was regarded as antisocial to hear music when hanging out with others, but he was the only one left at the table. And he really needed something to drown out the noise. So he put the headphones in and turned the music up.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes. He wished he were back home. And not just this new strange home that was the dorm room he shared with Dean. No, he wished he were back in Illinois, in his old room with the bookshelves and the set of photos on his wall showing his brothers and sisters.

But instead, all he could hope for was that this evening would end soon, and he could crawl into his bed in the dorm and cry himself to sleep missing his family and his home, hoping Dean wouldn’t notice.

Because of course he hadn’t told Dean about any of his thoughts. About his anxiety, the daily fear to leave his bed, the safety of the room. That wasn’t something you just randomly talked about. Especially, if the person you considered talking to was someone you might kind of, sort of like. Okay, maybe more than like.

But who could blame him? Dean was more than just gorgeous. Even though he was most definitely that. The lightly tanned skin that only served to accentuate the freckles splattered across his face, those stunningly green eyes that lit up every time he laughed. And, oh God, that laugh. Cas wanted to hear it every day and he wanted to be the source of it.

But Dean was more than just a pretty face. He was smart and kind. He was generous and incredibly funny. He took care of his younger brother and was protective, not only of his family but also of his friends. Dean had a big heart, and those he opened it up to could count themselves very lucky. And for some reason, Dean seemed to regard him as a friend, wanting Cas to come hang out with the group.

Cas had tried to be strong, but he could only resist Dean’s charm for so long. So he had said yes. Cas knew that a bar probably wasn’t a place he would be comfortable, but nevertheless he went. He was kind of regretting that decision now.

He felt a hand land on his shoulder and slowly opened his eyes. They were met with a startling green.

Cas pulled one of his headphones out of his ear to hear Dean say, “Hey, Cas.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You okay?” Worry tinged his voice.

Cas tried to smile at Dean, but he didn’t quite seem to succeed, because Dean’s smile faltered.

“What’s going on?”

Cas couldn’t meet his eye. He was embarrassed by his reaction. Didn’t know how to convince Dean that he was fine. Because he wasn’t fine, but he couldn’t just tell him that. So he tried anyway.

“Nothing, Dean. I’m fine.”

Dean frowned. He looked at Cas, seemingly trying to figure out, what was going on.

Cas tried again. “Really, Dean. I’m fine. Just go back to your friends. Have fun.”

Dean stayed quiet for a while, just looking at Cas. Then he gave a decisive nod.

“Alright. That’s it. We’re going home.”

Cas looked at Dean, startled. Was Dean telling him to leave? Of course he was. Cas was probably ruining the mood. But then Dean got up and pulled on his leather jacket. So Dean was apparently escorting him home. Not just kicking him out, but making sure he actually left.

“Dean…”

“Nope. Get up, Cas. Let’s go.” Dean grabbed Cas’s arm and pulled him up, then handed him his trench coat. Dazed, Cas took his coat and slowly put it on. He didn’t want Dean to leave so early. He didn’t want to ruin his evening.

As Cas was putting on the coat, Charlie showed up behind Dean. 

“Are you guys leaving?”

Dean gave her a short nod, but his eyes never left Cas. “Yeah, Cas isn’t feeling so well. I’m bringing him home.”

“Oh, no.” Now her eyes fell on him as well, full of sympathy. “You do look kinda pale. Well, I hope you’re feeling better soon.” She startled Cas by giving him another hug. “It was great meeting you. I hope we’ll see you again soon.”

Cas mumbled his thanks, and she disappeared back towards the pool table with a wave and a wink thrown at Dean. Cas wasn’t sure whether she actually meant what she’d said. He had barely said a word to her – or anyone else really, for that matter – all evening. She couldn’t possibly mean that, right? She was just being polite? That was simply what you said, when you met someone new and were glad they were finally leaving.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Dean’s hand on his elbow.

“Bye, Guys!” Dean yelled over his shoulder, before he led Cas out the door.

Once outside, he didn’t let go of Cas’s elbow, just started leading him down the sidewalk back towards campus. Neither said anything for a while.

It was Cas who finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry.” He said it so quietly that it was a miracle Dean actually heard it.

It seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Because Dean came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the sidewalk, turning Cas, so he was facing him.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I–” Cas couldn’t look at Dean. Instead he was staring at his feet, hoping Dean would just give up and maybe head back to the bar, leaving Cas alone with his thoughts.

But he had no such luck.

“Cas, look at me, man.”

When Cas didn’t lift his head, Dean put a gentle finger under his chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Cas was surprised to find nothing but warmth in those green eyes.

“Cas, you have nothing to be sorry for. You were uncomfortable in there. And don’t try to deny it,” he added, as he saw Cas open his mouth. He silently shut it again, and Dean went on. “It’s okay. I can understand that it can be a little too much sometimes. I should be the one apologizing for making you come with me. I just really wanted you to meet my friends, but maybe I should’ve thought it through some more.” He chuckled a little at that. “Well, when do I ever.”

“Dean,” Cas interrupted him. “I wanted to come.”

“Really?” Dean looked uncertain, but Cas could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Yes, Dean. Really.” He couldn’t help, but smile a little. He had never seen Dean uncertain before. “I wanted to meet your friends. And spend some time with you,” he added after a pause, hoping he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries with that admission.

He needn’t have worried, because Dean smiled at him.

“Well, I still probably shouldn’t have dragged you out to a bar,” Dean said.

“You couldn’t have known that I would react like that.”

Cas was still slightly embarrassed by his reaction. It wasn’t the first time, but you never got used to it and it would probably never stop making him feel self-conscious. But right now, Dean was standing in front of him, smiling, seemingly not bothered by it at all. He had seen Cas’s discomfort and, instead of mocking him for it as so many others did, he had tried to make him feel better. And Cas was really grateful for that.

“Still,” Dean said. “I feel kinda bad about it.”

“There’s really no need, Dean. You didn’t know. And I am a consenting adult and was willing to come. You are not to blame for what happened. Actually, I wanted to thank you. When you realized that I wasn’t doing well, you were there. You did everything in you power to make me feel better. And you did. So, thank you.”

Dean blushed at the sincerity in Cas’s words. He cleared his throat and said: “Hey, why don’t you come to the next movie night? It would just be a small group this time. Only me, Charlie, Kevin and maybe Benny. Nothing big. Just a movie and some popcorn. It’s fun. We would probably watch “Lord of the Rings” again or something equally nerdy and debate who the best Doctor is and–”

Dean was definitely babbling now. It was actually kind of cute. Cas couldn’t help but smile.

“Dean,” Cas interrupted him gently. “Maybe you should come up for breath at some point.”

Blushing, Dean shut his mouth with an audible pop.

Cas’s smile spread. He was full on grinning now. Dean was adorable when he was flustered.

“I would love to come,” he said.

Dean just stared at him for a second, eyes wide. Then he shook his head slightly and gave Cas a hopeful little smile in response.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Now Dean’s smile matched Cas’s in brightness.

“Great.”

They stood there for a minute, just looking at each other, smiling. Then Dean slowly reached out and took Cas’s hand. Instead of pulling away, Cas threaded their fingers together and gave Dean’s hand a light squeeze. If it was possible, Dean’s smile got even brighter.

“Let’s go home,” Dean said.


End file.
